Oh how I'd love and Easter Egg!

From the fantastic Northerner:

Oh! How I’d love an Easter egg!
I’m trying to be good,
It would help if I was living
In an egg-free neighbourhood!

I see them stacked up in the shops
Row on row on row –
So tempting and alluring,
I could eat them in one go!

Why don’t they think of folks like me
And make them out of meat?
An egg made out of beef or spam
Would not be such a treat…

Or if they got some garden dirt
And made them out of mud,
That wouldn’t be appealing
For it wouldn’t taste as good!

Why can’t they use a slab of lard
And carve one out of fat?
Then it would be disgusting
And I wouldn’t fancy that!

A friend suggested, maybe
If they made one out of wood –
It’s low G.I. and fibre-rich,
And might do me some good!

No, an egg made out of chocolate
Is the only way to go,
So I’ll eat my egg in secret
And no-one will ever know.

I think we need to treat ourselves,
Not live in constant fear –
Just have some fun like everyone,
It’s only once a year!